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Green Blooded Bastard's Movie Commentary Podcasts

The Green Blooded Bastard podcasts primarily feature movie commentaries. While they do not cure cancer or offer profound insights into filmmaking, they may provide a touch of humor, and be warned; I swear a lot. In addition to the free weekly movie episodes, I occasionally post side podcasts on the main feed. These include a Star Trek-focused show titled The Bastard Boldly Goes, a Battlestar Galactica series called Fat Apollo is Life, a Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman commentary known as The Bastard V Lois & Clark, an ALF-themed podcast I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf, and an Ash vs Evil Dead show named Ash vs Evil Dead vs The Bastard. Sometimes, I write bad poetry, create chaos art, and am generally emo.
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Green Blooded Bastard's Movie Commentary Podcasts
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Now displaying: 2015
Dec 27, 2015

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Superman/ Batman: Public Enemies.  In this movie Batman has to save Superman's ass from Lex's robot cock!  It's a fun movie, go give it a watch and have some pills while you are wasting your life son.

Dec 20, 2015

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Contagion.  This movie is full of viruses and people dying, but strangely not potato chips for some reason?  It's a great movie man.

Dec 13, 2015

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Ridiculous 6.  Not a great movie, but it was a hell of a better than most of the shit that he has put out in the last decade.  Mainly it's just a boring comedy that should have been 30 mins shorter and less serious/ more silly.

Dec 6, 2015

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid.  Big snakes, bad accents, but in a sequel bitches!  

Nov 29, 2015

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Star Wars: Attack Of The Clones Blu-Ray.  This one is pretty awful and i want to hate fuck it.  That is all.

Nov 22, 2015

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Happening.  The Happening is about grass and trees fist fucking us in the only way they know how... The Happening!  She and Him run through the woods and remember why they like fucking each other or something.

Nov 15, 2015

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Hellboy: Sword of Storms.  A decent animated film based on the classic comic character that is a hell spawn that should be bent on world destruction, but doesn't feel like it.  He also like kittens and beer.  It's not a bad movie, but with a few passing issues and stuff.  I'll stop now.

Nov 13, 2015

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Tamara.  A well tread supernatural revenge story that is an ok film starring the wife of Channing Tatum.  She's hell in high heels!

Nov 8, 2015

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery.  In this movie James Bond takes on the bad guy, gets some pussy and saves the fucking day... oh shit, wrong movie.  Listen till the end and hear the magical shit filled easter egg!

Nov 1, 2015

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Jurassic World.  This movie is really good and a lot of fun, but my podcast is dog shit!  I was very tired while recording this podcast late into the evening, partially fueled by cough syrup, greasy pizza and i'm pretty sure that i briefly passed out a couple times during this film.  I'm so sorry that you listened to this.

Oct 25, 2015

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Tales from the Crypt Presents: Bordello of Blood.  This movie is full of good cheese fun where Dennis Miller tries to kill a Vampire bitch and then fuck a blonde bitch because he's a real dick!  Fuck it.

Oct 18, 2015

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Would You Rather.  Not a bad movie, but it was a hell of a hard time getting this episode produced this week... computer issues again.  Enjoy?

Oct 11, 2015

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Little Giants.  The Giants beat the cowboys again!  It's a fun family comedy with a girl named ice hole because she's a bad bitch and doesn't take shit from anyone.  True story.

Oct 4, 2015

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Honey I Shrunk The Kids.  In this film 

Rick Moranis has a huge cock and shrinks shit because he fucking can!

Sep 27, 2015

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Bull Durham.  This is the story of a cock strong young man named Bull that defies the odds of a cripple being a starting pitcher in the big leagues.  Never tell him the odds!  That was all a lie that i told you, i'm sorry... so so sorry.  hahahaha

Sep 20, 2015

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Avengers Grimm.  This movie is not that good even for a bad movie, but the podcast is worst.  Sorry folks.  Get your pills and booze and strap in for this pile of shit!  The only upside is the girl that Red and the Iron Hulk thingy that smashes shit or something?  

Sep 13, 2015

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Wing Commander.  So Freddie Prinze, Jr. is a half breed asshole that can't act for shit, but somehow he's still a pilot in this damn movie.  Saffron Burrows is sexy as always and loves chewing dbag's assholes out left and right.  Matthew Lillard is subdued in his fucking lameness, but still manages to "help" save the day?  Also David fucking Warner!

Sep 6, 2015

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Arachnophobia.  Spiders Vs. John Fucking Goodman the Spider Hunter!  He has a huge cock, but doesn't brag about it... just saying.

Aug 30, 2015

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Langoliers.  I had a fairly big tech issue which then forced me to do advanced mathematics and splice shit together... fuck that!  That being said it should actually be synced pretty fucking solid and ready to use as a drinking game for everytime that i say fuck.  DO IT!

Aug 23, 2015

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches South Park - The Imaginationland Trilogy DVD.  There is nothing else to say son.

Aug 16, 2015

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches 7 Days in Hell.  This thing is fucking hilarious, but the podcast is shit so don't listen to it.  In stread just go watch this fuckig thing already!  This mocumentry was partially inspired by:

McEnroe Borg Fire and Ice. Legends and Legacies. TENNIS

I don't know how long this will be posted on youtube but here is a link to it: https://youtu.be/GlfL7gYGoy0 

Aug 9, 2015

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches My Bloody Valentine.  Pick axes, ripped out hearts and a dude with a mustache... sold!

Aug 2, 2015

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Grand Budapest Hotel.  I really love this film and you should too.

Jul 26, 2015

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches BloodRayne: The Third Reich.  I have no idea how a movie involving vampires and nazis can be so awful... Uwe Boll!!!!!!  This movie is shit and I was tired and just wanted to fistfuck this damn movie.

Jul 19, 2015

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Escape Plan.  A surprisingly decent film staring two old white guys that can barely speak english ffs!  America Fuck Yeah!

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